My fingers wouldn’t
move, my thoughts wouldn’t flow despite the overwhelming emotions only I can feel.
I’m always searching, always looking for something that would help me live the
way I want; the way I thought I should. What am I searching for? Is it love of
a man who doesn’t exist; or was it the mere feeling of being in love – an inexplicable
emotion that gives you power and strength; an anchor for my wandering soul. Who
am I looking for? Is it a soul-mate, who exists only to incite the flames of lust
that is under slumber; or is it a forbidden fruit that I desire that is sure to
destroy my soul? Because of my flawed beliefs have I already lost sight of what
is in the vicinity for the love of what is far beyond my grasp and could
possibly never exist? Am I always going to live in the days of tomorrow at the
cost of the present?
I know not anymore.
It makes me want to
cry like a wild beast that is on the verge of dying; I want to howl like a storm
that is raging to savage anything that block its way; I want to moan like a deer
that just witnessed the death of its mate; I want to weep by the embers of my
ebbing passion.
I could still feel
the tremor only passion could ignite within my body. I could feel it in tremble
of my fingers; haggard beat of my heart. I’m lost in a maze of my own frustrations,
falling at every turn looking for a way to rediscover my lost passion. During
the search many a moments I yearned to wander recklessly with abandon in the
labyrinth of my mind’s creation, if only it would make me forget. If only it
would make me forget the wanton life I’m dwelling within the confines of a
dissipated shell of a human girl.
No comments:
Post a Comment