Kabali da – Rajini prevails…

Kabali, the overhyped ‘thalaivar’ movie we were all looking forward to and going great lengths to get first day tickets. Most of us were disappointed for we couldn’t manage to get our hands on tickets even if we were willing to pay Rs 700 at Kasi Theatre.

As July 22nd dawned with a note of disappointment, came the reviews that rated the movie from worst to average, blaming the director who couldn’t do justice to Rajini’s image and the aging star for losing his yesteryear charm. But when I finally got to watch the movie this Sunday, I realised reviews couldn’t be more wrong.

Rajini’s introduction more or less justified his larger than life presence, donning a grey suit and salt pepper hair, his style and charisma intact. The movie takes off like a regular Rajini flick but soon moves on a different tangent devoid of punch lines and duets with younger heroines, one not usually associated with a typical Rajini movie. That’s exactly what I liked about it. Rajini’s role on screen matched who he was, an aging star, but a star nevertheless commanding respect. 

Here, we got to see the vulnerable side of our favourite hero who loves his wife Kumudavalli and misses her deeply. You know at that moment he meets her again, he feels alive again. It was as if those decades they did not see each other disappeared. The film captured those tender moments between Kabali and Kumudavalli, that was nothing more than meeting of the eyes, so beautifully. The romance though not the main theme, was fulfilling and powerful. 

You would be a little disappointed if you were expecting the likes of Baasha or Padayapa. Could it have been taken in a better way or project Rajini in a better light? Probably. Could the movie have a better villain? May be. 
Yes, it is not a usual Rajini flick, but it is not the same Rajini either who can sing and romance like a 30-year-old when he is 60.  

But you could still immerse yourself in the movie, whistle as he makes his moves and clap as he prevails over his enemies.

For all those who comment how the bad movie is and the actor is senile, after all these years he is one of the very few stars who can still charm and draw people like no other. And it is this Rajinikanth that we love and will continue to.  

Darkness

Things often look different in the night, often revealing their true self, hence more beautiful than the day. Cloaked under the night sky at the dawn of a new day accompanied by whispers of rain and sound of lightening, I wished the time would cease; I wished tomorrow shall never come to pass.

The unfathomable night with its shallow darkness and sinister corners taunts me, moves me, attracts me and arouses me. The night, an embodiment of bottomless secrets with its mystic sky, has magic that binds and entices the dreamer in me. The night with many shades of grey, captivates the ignoble me more than a rainbow that adorns the gloomy summer sky.

Sprinkles of the night that stroked my skin were as gentle as an embrace and warmer than a night of passionate love making. It made want to become a part of the night, invisible during the day only to be encompassed in the darkness.

Dripping in the shower and laughing with the thunder under the moonless sky with no star in sight, I found myself embracing the darkness in me. The shadows of the past and regrets of the bygone days came alive engulfing me letting me relive those moments. Those precious moments of sadness, happiness that encumbers one during the day.

Sitting by the window sill, listening to song of thunder and the torch of lightening that illuminates the narrow bead of rain I wished the light away. 

Irudi Suttru, packs truck load of punches

Tamil movie Irudi Suttru aka the final round stars Maddy on screen after a long gap. The story revolves around a boxing coach and his pupil through whom he wants to realise his dream of winning World Boxing Championship. It is pretty much similar to Chak de India where Shah Rukh coached the Indian hockey team but with much less drama.

Prabhu, known for this ruthless training methods, due to personal vengeance of his yesteryear colleague was transferred to Chennai, where he finds potential in a fisherwoman Mathi. He persuades her to let him train her, polishes her and prepares her for the final stage – the ultimate championship boxing ring.

In the almost two hour movie from when he begins to train Mathi to the last round of the championship, it is a roller coaster ride of vacillating emotions, of disappointments and of perseverance. The movie was not just about winning; it was a portrayal of dedication a coach has over his sport, brutal coaching that belies kindness and a deep bond Prabhu shares with Mathi with a subtle hint of romance that was heartwarming.

Even as the movie ends, despite an end so clichéd it makes you smile.

As cheerful and gutsy the heroine is it was Maddy as Prabhu, the no-nonsense coach with disheveled hair, overgrown beard with a tinge of grey at the corners and taut muscles, who tugged audience along. Sure, it was not the Karthik we knew from Alaipayuthey who enchanted the audience with the smile of Prince Charming; rather it was an older and matured Prabhu, a rugged Heathcliff, who seduced the audience with a smile even more devastating making you fall in love with him all over again. 

A wanton life

My fingers wouldn’t move, my thoughts wouldn’t flow despite the overwhelming emotions only I can feel. I’m always searching, always looking for something that would help me live the way I want; the way I thought I should. What am I searching for? Is it love of a man who doesn’t exist; or was it the mere feeling of being in love – an inexplicable emotion that gives you power and strength; an anchor for my wandering soul. Who am I looking for? Is it a soul-mate, who exists only to incite the flames of lust that is under slumber; or is it a forbidden fruit that I desire that is sure to destroy my soul? Because of my flawed beliefs have I already lost sight of what is in the vicinity for the love of what is far beyond my grasp and could possibly never exist? Am I always going to live in the days of tomorrow at the cost of the present?

I know not anymore.

It makes me want to cry like a wild beast that is on the verge of dying; I want to howl like a storm that is raging to savage anything that block its way; I want to moan like a deer that just witnessed the death of its mate; I want to weep by the embers of my ebbing passion.

I could still feel the tremor only passion could ignite within my body. I could feel it in tremble of my fingers; haggard beat of my heart. I’m lost in a maze of my own frustrations, falling at every turn looking for a way to rediscover my lost passion. During the search many a moments I yearned to wander recklessly with abandon in the labyrinth of my mind’s creation, if only it would make me forget. If only it would make me forget the wanton life I’m dwelling within the confines of a dissipated shell of a human girl. 

I'm afraid

I’m afraid to think, for the fear of facing the reality is more than intellect

I’m afraid to laugh, for I know it would become a way of life to escape the torment of everyday life.
I’m afraid to talk, for the fear of having pretending of everything is well the entire life
I’m afraid of smiling, for I know I can smile and the facade would never fade away.
I’m afraid of moving on, for the fear of losing the one last connection with the past.
I’m afraid of finding a dream, for the scar of the shattered dream still taints my routine.
I’m afraid of resurfacing again, for the fear that it would only be to go under again.
I’m afraid of crying, for I know it will be only a temporary solace for the battered soul.
I’m afraid of changing, for I know I have already come to a place where I can never go back.
I’m afraid to sleep, for the fear that I would never want to wake up and face tomorrow. 

May be I could dream just a little

I want to escape from the world that is determined to enervate my soul; I want an escape to the world, which defies the very law of my existence.

I wish I could bury the yearnings that claw at me at the dawn of everyday; I wish I could act on them and evoke the rebellion in me.

I hope I could accept the fate and go on as I always do; I hope I could break them all and not give a damn.

May be I can dream on and this ache will go way. May be I could dream on and wish the life away. May be I wish I could dream just a little.
  

It was and always will be a mystery

Mysteries are galore in the world, known and unknown, oblivious and obvious, to the man. Entangled in the misery and conundrums of everyday life, mind rarely lets the man realise there is a world beyond us, far beneath our understanding.

But for the elusive few, who managed to break free, it is the abstruse question of why and how that was never resolved drove them to the point of insanity for generations.

Puzzles of the universe, abstract and trivial, engross the earthlings. There is a charm in the vagueness and allure in anonymity of the seemingly impenetrable veil that separates the familiar and the unseen.

Rationale for the desire and fear of the indefinite and search for the incomprehensible will always remain a mystery. 

At the crossroads, at that moment

At the crossroads, after 13 years, I met her again. Time ceased, heart stopped, at that moment.

At that moment those years of nothingness effaced; I felt alive again. Just for that moment I knew what it means to resurrect; I was reborn. Just for that moment hope blossomed like the cherry blossoms during spring; Just for that moment I wished I had never grown up; I wished I was 13 again. Just for that moment I wished the moment had never come; I wished we could be together again.
Just at the moment I knew she would never be mine; I knew I had to let go; I knew I have to live.

 And maybe I will.

A ship to nowhere…

It was raining. Tiny pellets of water looked liked dew drops on shiny mass of velvety black hair. It was impossible to see its origin. But when you are on the top of a Ferris wheel you think you could, it makes you think you can. The world from there looked infinite, blue and incomprehensible. 

A ship amidst the mist and deceiving still waters of the ocean was swaying deeper into the sea. It looked tiny from afar and was painted in black and gold. The vessel cutting through the waters to reach the unknown destination would be full of people – chatting, playing, sleeping and loving. 

The possibility of seeing anything beside the wide expanse of the ocean that devours the sense of realism would be arousing. There would be a few on the deck who could see beyond the sea, drifting along the wind to the world far away wishing never to return; couples lost in their thoughts and in each other intertwined, may be more than locked just by their lips undeterred by heaves and surges over the waves missing the bergs; angry men and desolate women finding solace and regaining their footing on the frothing water, for there is nothing around but frothing water.   

Tantalizing salty air of the huge sapphire shining under the rutilant sun teases your senses, tempts the wild and seduces the weak and never conquered, for even the brave succumbs to the lurid sea that swells with mysteries which the ordinary men can never fathom.

Tales of pirates and legend of mysterious mermaids, the fables of Kraken and memories of Medusa would stay for as long as the myths float and the humans talk; as far as world’s end, if there really is one. 

Visage of the vessel, a reflection of the dreams of bygone days, stirred the desire to be on that ship to nowhere. Yawing and swaying , crossing over seven seas, swimming with the cetaceans, lying under the stars dreaming of the past, waking up to a storm wailing for the lost, travelling beyond your infancy only to lose yourself to the unknown!

A simple wish

My heart yearns to see the greenery of Iceland and ice caps of Greenland; to dwell in the wilderness of South Africa and ruins of Rome; to witness the grandeur of Vatican and heritage of Athens; to suffer in the Russian cold and tropical sun of the Caribbean; to dream under the starry sky in the desert of the Sahara amidst the Egyptian mummies; to survive the mysteries of the Amazon and Bermuda triangle; to hop in the Alps and surf in the Mediterranean; to watch the sunrise in Japan and the sunset in Samoa; to behold the memories of northern lights of Norway and  the harbour of Rio de Janeiro; to swim through the corals of the Great Barrier reefs and scale the Mount Everest; to slide over the glaciers of the Antarctic and ice sheets of the Arctic; a wish to see them all and live to tell the tale.  

If only I could live long enough to see them all and live to tell the tale!